i am depressed. i am making myself so upset that my stomach hurts. i failed my driver's test. DAMMIT. god that makes me so mad/sad. I hate school. I am depressed about the end of summer, about my failure, about knowing that i'm going to be the same this year as last, that i will have the same place in the fucked-up school community, that it will never change, and that i still won't get a part in the play, i still won't be special, i will still be me. somehow i always thought that eventually, at least by my senior year, i would be better, and i would have improved; i'd be someone other than who i've always been. Well i've finally grown up, and i'm all mature, but i'm still me. That's such a disappointment.
pixie 11:55 AM
Monday, May 19, 2003
blogger is a pos and i feel like it stole precious seconds of my youth. so fuck you you worthless piece of shit. i believed in you, and all you gave me was heartbreak and sadness
pixie 3:00 PM
Wednesday, January 01, 2003
HEY if anybody cares, i had a pretty good new yearzzzeve! i drank some, just enough, and drove around with That Boy and Andrew Riedmann. at midnight, we were parked at recplex, and we like ran to the side of the road and blew my noisemakers at random cars driving by. yep and then we DEFINATELY watched a cop turn around in the middle of the road and come up to us and i'm drunk by this poin and i'm like shit shit shit this is not happening! So he all pulls out the asshole cop routine and is like what are u guys doing in the middle of the road. we played it pretty cool, he got our ids and had us sit in the car, but i was pretty sre he wouldn't do anything. then another cp shows up and he just hands us our ids and is like, u guys can go. so we're like uhh ok lets get the hell out of here. hehe i can't believe it happened, i don't even feel like it really did cuz i was pretty messed up at that point. but andrew said he was proud of how sober i acted so i guess i did good. la la la la sara loves being drunk. she loves it waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much.
HAPPY NEW YEAR
pixie 9:18 PM
Sunday, December 29, 2002
i dislike life sometimes. i miss everything. i miss everything the way i felt it would be, but never was. i t never is as good as u think it will be. if u expect little, then every now and then u get something better than u expected. but its rare, and life seems so long in between. its like, u spend 5 years of your life waiting in lines, and i bet if u add all the truly happy moments, it comes up to a few weeks, at the most.
being human sucks. i wanna be a cat. me-ow. But i have to go to work now. i mean really, if was a cat, would i work 5 hours for $5.30 an hour? nope didn't thyink so. just call me whiskers
pixie 4:37 PM
Friday, December 27, 2002
sara might be drunk tonight!! but i wish i was more. hmm. smokey fingers fragrant and sweet.
pixie 12:50 AM
You're spunky, resourceful, and just a little deviant. It should come as no surprise that your Star Wars type is Artoo-Deetoo. Just like the diminutive droid who bailed out Luke and the gang more than a few times, you have tons of tools and tricks at your disposal. When in a bind, you are usually the first one who thinks of the solution (even if your zeal for adventure got you into trouble in the first place).
You are a loyal friend who people can confide in. They know that you'll guard their secrets as if they were the plans to the Death Star itself. What some might call stubborn, you call driven. No amount of obstacles will get between you and your goal.
i. despise. the. internetranetalweb. |intensely| and i will sleep now because 4 f*in o' clock in the morning is just too early. i have to go to work at 3 tomorrow. or today. in 11 hours. but ah. i don't wanna sleep. cuz then i have to wash my face, and that sounds strenuous and cold. thank god for good friends. that are actually there. i'm bad, cuz im not one of those. i want to be the kind of friend i would want, but i'm just too careless and self-involved. who do i ALWAYs talk about on this page? why me of course. i try to be all like sara u suck but then i'm all like well, i'm not really a bad friend. but i am. ohyes. ohhhhhhhme like yoga. silly its too early. oh yeah if u see a totally new layout, then my webskills are better than my computer lets on. cuz its still showing me the same thing. and i've changed it like 700 tims. and it hates me. and i deleted over 3,000 cookies from my computer. imagine that? ugly. who named them cookies anyway? cookies are yummmy and scrumptious, and computer cookies are just not.
pixie 4:31 AM